I'll Be Home for Christmas
by catesby522
Summary: When Baljeet was being honest with himself, (or with Ferb, since he was the only one of Baljeet's friends that didn't give useless advice), he could honestly say he was pining for his bully/best friend/one true love. Buford/Baljeet. Slight citrus, major fluff.


Baljeet was depressed. If you asked him why, he'd probably give you a line about how the commercialism behind the 'holiday season' did nothing but irritate him, because he didn't celebrate any of the holidays involved. If he was being honest though, he'd been depressed for a little over two years. It had been approximately 2.25 years since the ever-so-lovely Mrs. Van Stom had become Mrs. Neil, and moved across the country with her new husband, taking her son with her.

****When Baljeet was being honest with himself, (or with Ferb, since he was the only one of Baljeet's friends that didn't give useless advice), he could honestly say he was pining for his bully/best friend/one true love. He spoke with Buford quite often through skype or over the phone, but it just wasn't the same. They'd shared a physical connection from the moment of their meeting, and while it hadn't always been pleasant, it was something they both thrived on, as perverse as it might have seemed.

****Missing Buford was a constant ache for Baljeet, but it always seemed to get that much stronger around the holiday season, possibly because it was usually the time of year when Buford was the most pleasant. Sure, there was always plenty of studying to do, but it could only distract for so long before Baljeet was glancing around his room, eyes searching for the few items that Buford had given him over the years. There was the indestructible calculator Buford had given him for his twelfth birthday, the framed certificate that proclaimed Baljeet 'Best Nerd Ever', and most prominently, a small weight bench that had been Buford's Christmas present to Baljeet last year. Buford persistently asked if Baljeet used it at all, and Baljeet usually said no, with some terribly clever quip about there being no need to be a muscle-bound idiot when Buford fit the role so much better, but it was a lie. Baljeet used it at least twice a week. It made him feel closer to Buford somehow. Not to mention how much more attractive he looked.****

Three days before Christmas found Baljeet at the Flynn-Fletcher Christmas party, nursing a cup of eggnog that was _supposed_to be virgin, but was very much not. He was feeling rather appreciative of Ferb at the moment, considering how very badly he wanted to get smashed. Sure, he was five years away from being able to drink legally, but when you were as depressed as Baljeet was, a little holiday cheer was called for. Logically, Baljeet was fully aware of the fact that as a depressant, alcohol was possibly one of the worst things for his mood, but the part of him that was feeling Buford's absence so deeply wanted nothing more than for him to crawl into a bottle of rum and not come out until Buford was back.

**"**You do realize," said a cultured English accent from beside him as Ferb refilled his glass "That you should only need to suffer another 1.75 years before you will be in regular proximity with one another once more."

**"**1.75 makes it sound like such a short time… But it does not change the fact that it is also 21 months, or approximately 630 days."

****Ferb sighed. "Always the pessimist. Perhaps your mood would improve if you were to glance 30 degrees to your left."

****Baljeet darted a curious glance at Ferb before doing as suggested and looking toward the front door. He felt his heart stop. There, being greeted by Phineas and Isabella was a towering young man with the most beautiful Teutonic forehead and buzz cut Baljeet had ever seen. Buford looked across the room, his eyes met with Baljeet's, and the world stopped moving. Baljeet didn't notice Ferb slipping away, or Candace flailing wildly as Jeremy got down on one knee in front of her (it was a false alarm. He was just picking up some popcorn that had fallen off his plate). All he was aware of was that boy, that man coming toward him.

**"**You've grown." Buford said, once he was in front of Baljeet.

**"**Not as much as you have." Baljeet replied. Neither acknowledged how shaky his voice was.**  
**

"You're a liar Baljeet."

**"**How so?"

**"**You have been using the weight bench."**  
**

"How can you tell?"**  
**

"Your arms…" Buford said, bringing up a hand and gently caressing the mentioned area. "They're very… well-defined."**  
**

Baljeet bit his bottom lip. He silently hoped no one else noticed the low growl that came from Buford at the action. Darting a glance around at the other party guests, Baljeet caught Ferb's eye. One green eyebrow raised elegantly, and he jerked his head to the stairway. Making a decision Baljeet hoped he wouldn't regret later, Baljeet grabbed hold of Buford's hand and pulled him in the direction of the stairs. Buford went along eagerly, and before Baljeet was really truly aware of what was going on, he found himself in Phineas and Ferb's bedroom with two hundred pounds of pure muscle pressed against his body, and the most wonderful lips in existence pressed against his own. **  
**

It was hot. It was messy. It was so very arousing and so very intoxicating, and Baljeet hoped the sensations that were coursing through him would never stop. Baljeet supposed he should feel a bit embarrassed that he made of mess of his underwear in less than ten minutes of furious grinding and groping, but considering the fact that Buford joined him a split second later, Baljeet figured it was a forgivable offense. **  
**

For a long while, they allowed themselves to lay panting in a tangled heap on Ferb's bed, neither of them quite ready to think clearly just yet. **  
**

"Damnit 'Jeet." Buford growled. "You've ruined the rest of my life." **  
**

"How did I do that?" Baljeet asked, lazily tracing intricate patterns on Buford's broad neck.**  
**Buford shivered. "No one else in this universe could get me as hot as you do." **  
**

"Is that a bad thing?" Baljeet asked, making eye contact. **  
**

Buford gulped. "No." He said softly. "I don't think it is." **  
**

Baljeet raised his body just enough to connect their lips once more. This kiss was slow, sensual, and full of all of the romantic feelings Buford would never admit to having. They pulled back, breathless, after a long moment, and Baljeet buried his face in Buford's neck. **  
**

"Your mother is surely disappointed that you are not with her for Christmas." **  
**

"She said I could have anything I wanted if I kept my grades up. Guess she didn't figured I'd take it to heart." **  
**

Baljeet shook his head (as much as he could with it pressed as deeply into Buford as it was). "It still amazes me how clever you are when you strive to be." **  
**

"Yeah well, I had a pretty good role model." **  
**

Baljeet let out a breathy laugh. **  
**

"'Jeet." Bufford whined. "If you keep at it I'm going to get all hard again." **  
**

"Maybe that is my goal. Perhaps I intend to keep you in bed for the duration of your stay." **  
**

"Yeah, well, as much as I like that idea, I don't think it's Ferb's bed we should be staying in." **  
**

Baljeet sighed. "You are right of course. I suppose we should be rejoining the party." **  
**

"Yeah..." Buford's arms tightened around Baljeet. ****

They did eventually make it back down to the party, but by the time they did very few people were still there. Jeremy and Candace were on the loveseat in the corner, acting quite sickening, and Ferb, Phineas and Isabella stood on the other side of the room, discussing some extravagant present for Santa over glasses of punch. Buford and Baljeet joined them, ignoring the knowing looks from Ferb.

"So I think Sleigh 14.0 should include a GPS. I mean, I know he usually has most everybody memorized, but the guy's over a thousand years old. He's got to be getting at least a little senile." **  
**

"I do believe that is why he has at least one of the younger elves ride with him." Ferb said, taking a sip of his punch. **  
**

"Oh... Man, it gets harder every year to make the big guy stuff. Doesn't help that he can make it all himself..."**  
**

"But is it not the thought that counts?" Baljeet asked. "I'm sure you could make him a sweater and he would be quite happy with it." **  
**

"Baljeet! You're a genius! We can make him a new suit!" And with that, Phineas was off, making made plans for a micro-fiber super-suit for Santa. **  
**

Buford rolled his eyes at Baljeet. "Ya see what you've done? Now we're going to get pulled into their Santa shindig and not get any time to ourselves." **  
**

"With all due respect." Ferb said softly, doing his best to not derail Phineas' train of thought. "Biologically engineered fabric is something out of either of your expertise, so it is highly unlikely that your involvement would be needed at all." **  
**

"Ya hear that 'Jeet?" Buford said before Baljeet could get too affronted. "We have a whole two weeks all to ourselves." **  
**

Baljeet shivered at the implications. Then he frowned. "Where are you staying?" He asked, frowning up at Buford. **  
**

Buford gave him an almost deadly grin. "Didn't I tell you? I arranged it with your parents to stay at your house." **  
**

Baljeet squeaked. (It was a manly squeak though) "Really?" He asked. **  
**

"Mmhm... and to thank your parents for their hospitality I'm sending them on a two week vacation to Hawaii. Your grandmother will of course stay at your house to make sure we don't get into any trouble..."**  
**

"My grandmother is quite nearly deaf!" **  
**

Buford gave Baljeet another of his deadly grins. "I know." **  
**

Baljeet was suddenly very much looking forward to the rest of his winter vacation. ****

Omake**  
**Ferb flipped his laptop open and clicked on the file that saved the recordings from the camera cleverly hidden in a corner of his and Phineas' room. He opened the appropriate file, and silently watched Buford and Baljeet stumble into the room. He shifted a bit as he watched the two of them frott and fondle each other eagerly. He did some quick mental calculations. If he sold the clip to the right sites, he could make approximately... but no. They were his friends, and as hot as they were, it would not do to sell them out without their knowledge. **  
**

He did make sure to save the video in a separate folder however. He was sure it would get Vanessa more than hot and bothered the next time he saw her. **  
**


End file.
